1. What does the word feminist mean to you?- A feminist is someone who has undying devotion to the support and promotion of women first. A feminist won’t settle for anything less.
2. What is your definition of feminine?
- Feminine is a characteristic that is mostly regarded toward female traits.
3. Do you do anything that is feminist?
- I often try to write letters to point out inequalities, in my work with children I try to support equality, I try to support female organizations. I have attended rallies and protests. Marches.
4. Can you name three feminists, living or dead, strangers or friends?
- Bertha Harris, Germaine Greer, Hilary Clinton
5. Who do you think is the most feminine woman in the world, living or dead, strangers or friends?
- I always found my women’s studies professor in college to be extremely feminine. That seems loaded and I instantly want to defend her after I write it
The answers above are mine. I polled 37 people I know via email. Through the poll I’m trying to find out what is going on with one of this nation’s biggest issues: girls and boys, men and women, ladies and gentlemen.
What will the results mean? I’m filled with questions. Why didn’t I send the poll to my mother? What if no one responds?
Day 1:
I’ve sent the poll out a little over an hour ago. Four people have said that they would respond later: 3 lesbians, one straight girl.
People don’t have time? They are excited about the topic and want to set it aside to really answer it well later? People don’t have time later. Are they blowing me off?
If feminine has to do with what women are generally like, and feminism is largely about pushing toward women’s rights – wouldn’t the two negate each other? The hairy-legged female in cut off camo shorts is feminine, right? In order to be a feminist?
So the word itself must be wrong, so how can the movement be right?
There are several feminist subcultures, if culture is even the right word. From Individual feminism to Black Feminism, and Ecofeminism, if we all go off on our own escapade of equality, don’t we take away from the larger cause? What about supporting vagina, all vaginas? What about Viva La Vagina?
Oprah Winfrey publicly supports a male presidential hopeful over a female one. Is she African American before female? If you took away Oprah’s skin, she’d still have a vagina. And yes, if you took away her vagina you’d still have her skin.
Is this the chicken and the egg theory or is there more to it? A black woman is still lower than a black man on the equality totem pole. Is Oprah Winfrey a gender traitor?
How can any woman not have the personal agenda of promoting and supporting Hillary Clinton? You don’t agree with her health care plan? Or how her husband got cheap thrills with an intern? What does it matter? She has a vagina and is a democratic candidate. Do you see how her male running mates treat her?
Isn’t it a blanket theory from women to women? Promote us? Help your gender! Men do it naturally and have been doing it for centuries.
It makes me squirm in my chair. I start to wonder, do feminists hate men? Do I hate men? Or do I just hate the privilege they have over us? Do I just hate inequality? Do I just hate all humankind? If there was elitism and advantage to being female, would I take license? I just start to squirm again. Then I relax. I don’t hate men. It’s the world.
So far two men have responded.
Day 2
So things are rolling now, my senior citizen Aunt even responded to the poll. I’ve got feminism on the mind 24/7 at this point. What is it? What do you have to do to be a feminist? Put up some posters? Write GIRL MONEY on all of your cash? Write letters?
Nine people have responded out of 38 directly sent emails. Two straight dudes, four straight chicks, and three dykes.
If you are NOT a feminist does that mean that as a woman, you are ok with the general idea that women are less than men?
Now the responses are becoming more random as I’ve enlisted the help of the publisher/owner/queen of this website.
How could all women not be feminists? Are all men mannists? I suggest that feminism isn’t just dead, it never even existed. If every woman was a feminist, wouldn’t their at long last be equality?Do we even want equality? Won’t that fuck up the ecosystem?
Let’s break it down:
Q: Who controls “everything?”
A: Men.
Q: Who decides who controls everything?
A:Men.
If all women bring every human into this world, how is it that men control it?
As I’m still sitting and waiting for even people who are close to me to respond to my poll, I wonder if some new information will help me come to an understanding. Men can just rape women for birthing, it even happens now as most married women don’t realize that they can say no to their husbands.
Men would do just fine without keeping up relations with women because they run everything and they can rape women on the side for procreation. Why do men want to run everything? Why do they want power? Money? I propose it’s all to get laid?
So the very thing that men do to keep women down, self promotion and empowerment… it’s to get to women. They keep the vagina in submission because the ultimate goal is: vagina.
I’m starting to get that sick feeling when there are too many questions and I will never know the answers. And again, do I hate men? Don’t all men hate women?
Years ago I read a poll about men and rape. A group of men were asked if they would rape someone if they would never be found out for their crime. I remember being shocked by the number of men that would in fact commit this crime.
If I could rape someone and get away with it, no one would know but the person I violated, would I do it?
Of course not. Why would I want to do something to someone that would hurt them? Or they are so ruled by power and the mighty penis that they can’t control themselves?
Feminism is advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. We just want it the same, why wouldn’t any man with a sister or mother or wife want that? If men truly loved their female relations wouldn’t they want equality?
What if we aimed higher?
Fuck equality, what if we wanted to rise above and conquer? Enforce anal rape camps for all men?
I’ve yet to look at the responses from anyone. I open the email and see if the info is there and I save it to my pc.
Day 3
I had an hour conversation about Feminism this evening. So far, 20 people have responded to my poll. I still haven’t read any of the results, it’s like Christmas, but better.
I’ve come to the personal conclusion that the inequality between men and women date so far back they can never be undone. Men marry women who allow the “traditional” behavior. The women perhaps hope the men will change, the men doing what they like as they’ve been taught from a very young age. Then that married couple breed a couple sons and daughters. The father will tell the sons to treat women a certain way. Then they see their father treating their mother differently.
The little girls are taught by their mothers to be princesses while the boys are allowed to run around and act like animals. Little girls can make their beds by age 5, boys don’t have to bother until much later. The mothers teach the girls they can be doctors if they want, then take them to male doctors. They tell them to be safe and not let anyone treat them poorly, and then the girls see their mother’s dealing with animosity from their dad. They are taught to not want sex; boys are given dirty magazines by dad. And then, the kids grow up and the circle of imbalance is complete.
Day 4
Yesterday I didn’t write or get any response. I’m developing a theory that no straight sexually active woman can possibly be a feminist. How can you declare yourself as such while there is a man excreting his semen on your body somewhere?
Look at how gay men are vs. lesbian women. Gay guys often switch around partners and cheat with an “ok” from their partner, and sometimes not. Lesbians often settle down and nest, having multiple long term partners.
Even when we take away the heterosexual aspect, men and women behave differently, so perhaps a balance is impossible. We have different needs and goals.
The most basic male goal it would seem is to get laid and make money. Women seem to want families and stability.
How can there be a balance, if the most basic aspect, our bodies, are so completely different. Women start on a different playing field due to the menstrual cycle. How can men think they are as mighty and powerful as a woman, or even more powerful, when they don’t bleed like women do?
So what is created? Pills for less cycles, but not until the pill is made first for men to not have to wear a condom. Don’t forget about Viagra. There are also pills (Flomax) so men can have a stronger flow of urine when they take a leak. Meanwhile, many women suffer from endometriosis. What is it? How do we fix it? More pills and surgery, but nothing works fully. If men complained of endometriosis, as they did their weak urine stream, there would be Pez dispensers of medication to heal them.
Even if we move away from actual sex, look at the culinary arts. A woman’s place is supposed to be in the kitchen. Barefoot and knocked up, buzzing around the kitchen so proud to making dinner for her man. If this is the case, then why are women so completely disrespected in the culinary field? It’s ok for females to cook at home but not in industrial kitchens, feeding people they did not marry?
I have 23 responses. Today is the deadline.
Day 5
I have printed out all of the results. Each printed response gives the person’s race, gender, age, location. Some have sexual orientation. This will take a good chunk of my morning before I go to work. I work with kids, and I’m dying to ask them these questions, but I fear the answers.
Side note: The woman that was in the movie KNOCKED UP, has gone on record that she admits the movie is sexist. Actress, Katherine Heigl has set women back 25 years and is admitting to it. Why make the movie then?.
Food for thought: Below is a list of words.
A father, worker bee, old school lesbian, social worker, teacher, film maker, guidance counselor, professor, senior citizen, rocker, freelance musician, administrator, recent college grad, new wave feminist, stranger, nurse, investment banker, songstress, med student, another teacher, immigration specialist, full time student, computer tech and an administrative assistant.
That’s 24 people. All the people who responded, all different lives. I can’t wait to read all of their response on the same topic. I’m going to watch Knocked Up as well.
I found the movie loathsome, and extremely sexist. I can often enjoy movies of this genre, but perhaps working on this project isn’t helpful in my digestion of misogyny.
Why do women take it? If I stand up for women, do I really have to stand up for some woman that doesn’t give a shit if her husband calls her a whore in front of her kids? One vagina for all vaginas?
After tabulating the results I feel like this is all very important.
Day 6
I avoided the project the entire day. It was on my mind but weighed too heavy. It felt too yucky to work on.
I ended up speaking with six high school students. They were all much more opinionated about the topic. They raised the question of why the word feminist and feminine can often be so completely different. They asked me if someone can be a feminine feminist. Later when the kids were gone, another adult approached me about what we were discussing. She was glad we got to talk because she loved the conversation I had with the girls. She said though that some women don’t understand their own need for equality until later in life and at that time it’s often too late. She was 50 and just now realizing who she was and how she felt about the treatment she’s received from men. I was taken with the conversation. She seemed very passionate. This woman had also spent time in the military.
Day 7
I’m noticing feminism and sexism in my own words. I called someone a “pussy.” I notice that if a man was saying some of the things I’ve said in private conversations, I’d think that he was a pig. It shouldn’t be different. Should it?
Day 8
I’m going to read all of the results now. Straight through. I hope to be enlightened.
Last Day
I’m completely disgusted by the NY (NJ) Jets gate D fiasco. I think it’s a fine example of a larger issue. As reported a few weeks ago, football fans like to get together at gate D and shout at women to show their breasts. (Apparently all these men are infants in need of a teet?) If the woman in question doesn’t show her breasts, they get showered with plastic bottles and insults. The New York Times first reported on this at the beginning of December. So for the December 9th game, the stadium beefed up security at gate D. The Times ran a second article after that. Times that there were more people at the gate than ever.
What does feminist mean to you?
The answers were very solid on this question. The most popular answers dealt with equality and action. I agree with this, but a tiny notion keeps creeping up in my head, equal to men? That would mean men are better to begin with.
One response says, “To me, a feminist is someone who believes that all people are equal, and deserve to be treated with equality, and who in some way, however small, backs this belief up with their actions and how they live their life. This doesn’t mean that all people are the same, but that every person, male, female or anywhere in between, should be valued equally in our world. Wrapped up in this would be the belief that our society needs to shift its values so that things considered feminine are valued as much as things considered masculine.”
Few responses made it a point to mention that both males and females can be feminist.
The term and word feminist might just be outdated. Many of the things that brought feminism out screaming are thought of as fixed.
One response to this question was simply the word, “Women.”
What is your definition of feminine?
Obviously this question would evoke words that have been traditionally associated with the female gender. As would the word masculine. After reading the responses though I actually felt sort of ashamed. I don’t want to be “girly”, “docile”, “submissive” or “quiet.” All words that were in the poll answers though most also mentioned they found these terms negative. A few gems that were used were, “grace,” “dignity,” “intelligence,” and “confidence.” Words also used were “nurturing” and “caretaker.” If those aren’t masculine terms too, maybe that’s the problem.
Over half of the answers used clothing in their response.
Feminine is as outdated as the word feminist. A serious upgrade is needed. One response sums up feminine: “Using your dress to wipe up your drink.”
Do you do anything feminist?
When I answered this question I was disappointed in myself. I will admit that after answering it and seeing the other answers my demeanor changed. I’ve become more outwardly vocal, if nothing more.
Many of the responses were “no,” and equal opposite amount responded everything they do is feminist. Many feel they do feminist things through their work. In corporate America and the music business, two respondents flex their feminist muscle, as well as other creative ways. Volunteering was mentioned as well as educating. A handful of response thought that simply because they believe in feminism that they are doing something feminist. And one poll answer, from I would assume the same person with the witty answer for the last question, “I use my dress to wipe up my drink.”
Name three feminists:
One person didn’t answer this question. The list has 53 names that ranged from famous people to moms and friends. I was mentioned once by name and one person named themself as a feminist.
Gloria Steinem had the most mentions and the following names had more than one vote: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Kurt Cobain, Oprah Winfrey, Susan B. Anthony, Eleanor Roosevelt, Virginia Woolf, Hillary Clinton, Frida Kahlo, Amelia Earhart.
The rest had one mention and I must list them all. Thanks to those who had some names I never heard before. I will be researching and reading about them.
Betty Ford, Margaret Atwood, Andrea Dworkin, Marge Daly, Mrs. Bush, Queen Elizabeth, Kate Millet, Jen Shaw, Catherine McKinnon, Sylvia Plath, Madonna, Edith Lees Ellis, Alice Paul, Liz Hohl, Eliza McFeely, Barbara Gittings, Susan Santag, Ani DiFranco, Ana Maria Garcia, Betty Friedan, Joan of Arc, May Angelo, Janine Garofalo, Indigo Girls, Marge Piercy, Alicia Ostriker, Shulamith Firestone, Valerie Solanas, Adrienne Rich, Sinead O’Conner and Sally Ride.
Who is the most feminine woman in the world?
I’m not sure why, but it surprises me that Marilyn Monroe is the biggest answer here. Her and Princess Dianna were the top two answers for this question. One response, “What a question! Well, the way someone looks isn’t necessarily all there is to being feminine. I think it’s more so a state of mind. So, I’m sure some princess in some foreign country wins the Medal of Honor here!” Another poll answer without an actual name, “I have no idea. I tend to picture movie starlets, but other than their image, who is to say that they are truly feminine?” One person smartly answered, “Most women seem feminine to me.” I was also impressed with the response, “A true feminist wouldn’t answer that!”
Sophia Loren was mentioned more than once as well. Christy Turlington, Nicole Kidman, Scarlet O’Hara, Audrey Hepburn, Helen of Troy, Kate Winslet, Jackie Kennedy, Bette Davis and Evita were all mentioned. RuPaul was one brave respondents answer.
In an average day I see sexism and general different treatment of females and males. I’ve seen things that people shouldn’t get away with, little things, but they do get away with them. Women allow it. Many people that did not respond to my survey are people who would consider themselves feminists and activists.
Does the quest for true humanity have a name? The daily struggle for women to be treated as well as men doesn’t seem like feminism anymore, it’s something larger. Feminism is dead. You killed it and I killed it. It’s time to advance so now we have to move on to something bigger. - Jessica L. Smith
